FEAR

Fera comes in different ways into our lives.

For some of us it can be the fear of poverty, of aging or being alone.

For others it can be a physical fear of things such as heights, snakes or charging bears.

The physical fears often have their basis in real  life experience or the instinctive knowledge that we have about facing down a venomous snake or a charging bear.

Other fears often have their root in past experiences or the stories we tell ourselves.

Perhaps the fear of poverty comes from an impoverished childhood, The fear of aging often has to do with feeling vulnerable or losing our attractiveness to others because of our lines and wrinkles.

Fear is what usually holds us back from making decisions, especially those that involve change.

Perhaps your job isn’t wonderful. You could quit or you could seek another job, but you don’t.

What stops you?

It’s usually fear. If you quit, how do you feed yourself or pay the rent? If you take a new position, what if you don’t succeed? Or maybe you’ll get fired?

Or maybe you’ll actually really like it and be much happier.

Isn’t it interesting how often fear rises from the stories we tell ourselves?

Humans have a wonderful way of creating a reality that may not exist.

Perhaps your boss rushes by and doesn’t respond to your greeting. Within two minutes you can construct a story about how the boss is ignoring, you, doesn’t like you etc. In reality, that boss may have been preoccupied or not have heard your greeting.

And the sad thing is, you may then go onto react to your boss negatively,  staring a spiral that can only get worse. The simple solution would be to ask if they heard you or if everything is okay since they seemed so preoccupied.

Making decisions when fear is clouding your mind makes it virtually impossible to move or to change. So here are a couple of simple things you can do when a decision is clouded by fear.

First, breathe. Just breathe. Your brain needs the oxygen and fearful thinking often disrupts our breathing.

Second, ask yourself: is what I’m  thinking a fact? Do I know it for sure? Or am I creating a story?

And if that doesn’t work-give me a call, I can help you through the fear and out to the other side.

Photo courtesy of Janet Brown Photography. Check her our on Instagram and Facebook