Gossip in the Office
Mac, you met him in last week’s blog, the Bishon Poodle cross I live with – well Mac has a real problem with dogs and people who walk by our home. He leaps to the back of the love seat, barking and snarking at the poor unfortunates out on the road. I am glad I don’t speak dog because I am sure he is saying something quite rude. His particular dislike is a pair of well behaved and beautiful Bernese Mountain Dogs. When they pass, he practically turns himself inside out with barks, growls and whole repertoire of threatening body language.
About a week ago, Mac and I went for a walk and ended up passing the home of those Bernese Mountain dogs. They were out on the deck, which is glassed in, and began to return all the insults Mac had thrown their way. His response was to turn his head away and walk briskly past their home. I am pretty sure he could not tell there was glass holding the dogs in and given they were more than double his size discretion ruled.
The whole event reminded me of gossip in the workplace. Those who feel the need to carp and complain about others behind their backs; never addressing the issue head on, finding someone else to blame and taking no responsibility for their own actions. Often this behaviour happens in the lunch room and at some point the person being vilified walks in and the complainer often greets them enthusiastically and invites them to sit down.
This behaviour does everyone involved a disservice. It creates a poisonous atmosphere where trust is lost and work performance suffers. Those listening and not stopping the complaining end up feeling guilty and wondering what is being said behind their backs when they are out of the room. The complainer continues on their course of self destruction and the object of all this scorn is left wondering what is going on and unable to find out.
Unlike Mac, as co workers we have choices here. Turning our heads and walking away won’t work and it leaves a bad taste in the mouth. So the next time, the complaining starts, see if you can find a way to redirect the conversation, if you are not willing to say “Stop, I don’t want to participate in this conversation”. It only takes one person to change and like dominos change will spread and lunch room conversations can become pleasant again.