Fear

After yesterday’s post about perfection masking fear, I checked out the inspirational message app I use only to find this quote: “More than anything, fear blinds, and only by stepping without hesitation into the next inch of the unknown can we build confidence in the life we are about to live.” by Mark Nepo (The Book of Awakening)

What I found inspirational  about that quote was his suggestion we move an inch forward. For me, inches are not particularly scary. Feet, yards, miles, now that can be a terrifying thing to do. But an inch at a time works well for the inch worm and I think would work well for me and for you.

There are so many fears out there: spiders, snakes, heights, flying. The list goes on, in fact there was a recent news article about a woman with an irrational fear of buttons. Now that’s got to be a hard one, buttons are everywhere, snakes, not so much. Those fears re usually labelled phobias and there are treatments that are very successful, so there’s a choice we can make to heal from the phobia and move forward in life.

Its the other kind of fear I am writing about today. The fear whose acronym is:

False

Expectations

Appearing

Real

You know what I am taking about. Its those stories we tell ourselves which have little or no reference to reality.  We finish a piece of work for our boss and she looks at it and doesn’t immediately smile. Before she raises her head, we know we are going to be fired or demoted  or or or. Then she does raise her head and says words of praise and we are dumfounded. It’s that same knee-jerk mental reaction that gets in the way of clear thinking. Our partner says “we need to talk” and we interpret it as the beginning of divorce and they want to discuss the upcoming summer holidays.

I don’t know why we so often do this, I just know that I do it, I have friends and clients and family who do it. And there is one sure way to stop it. When you find yourself in the middle of such a story just ask yourself:’What is the positive purpose in creating this story?” Rarely will you hear a reasonable response from that voice who tells you these stories. So, then you know – it’s just story and there are better things to do in life than create that kind of story. If you are really good at it, consider writing it down, that’s sure to put a crimp in it.

Really it is so simple:” What’s the positive purpose?” can make your life a lot easier and support you in your inching forward.

Another blog in the #31day challenge