Self Respect

Self respect – it almost feels like an old fashioned value, one that people don’t talk much about any more. I am not sure if that is because it is taken for granted, or because no one thinks about it. The quote from Joan Didion which appears here courtesy of Facebook is I think, a good launch pad for discussion.

What does it mean to take responsibility for your own life? For starters, I think it means that we need to acknowledge and accept that every action and every word we say are our choices. In times of stress, it is easy to blame someone else for the situation we are in. Certainly in some cases we are not at fault, if a car  runs a red light and hits our car, clearly the blame is on the other driver. How we handle the interactions that follow, that’s on us. If we yell, swear and threaten we won’t accomplish much and it won’t resolve the problem.

All to often it is easier for us to point a finger away than look at our own behavior. Part of taking self responsibility comes back to how our parents raised us. If they made excuses for our actions, blamed others when we got in trouble and did not hold us accountable, chances are we are still not accepting responsibility for our actions. And at some point we just have to grow up. It is pretty silly to be in your thirties and be blaming your parents for doing a bad job. (Note, I am not talking about folks who suffered abuse in their childhood)

When you take responsibility for yourself and your choices you end up feeling pretty good. It does build your self respect. If you have a sense of self respect then you are more easily able to say no to actions that may not have the best outcomes. Kids who have self respect are more easily able to say no to drugs and alcohol. Heck, it even comes down to what you eat – if you have a sense of self respect that can help you make healthy food choices. And by the way, no one said it would always be easy and that’s just the way it is.