Choices

Over the last while I have been noticing a lot of conversations, mainly political, that start: ” I have no choice”. My first response is to say; “who took away your choice?” Which leads me to what may be closer to a rant than anything else.

First, let’s start with the definition of choice from the Online Dictionary:
1. The act of choosing; selection.
2. The power, right, or liberty to choose; option.
3. One that is chosen.
4. A number or variety from which to choose: a wide choice of styles and colors.
5. The best or most preferable part.
6. Care in choosing.
7. An alternative.
So, that looks pretty clear to me. Choice imples there are options, and by the way two ways to go is not a choice, it’s what I call an either/or. For it to be true choice, there need to be at least three options. And, this is important: not making a choice is a choice. Let me repeat that, not making a choice is a choice. In fact, what you are doing is maintaining the status quo and that’s a choice.

The picture on the right is a favourite example of choice: eat, not eat, eat some, share.

So let me give you another example of choice. I had a friend who was bogged  down in an unhappy marriage where his wife had been cheating, yet he said” I have no choice”. Because he was a friend and I didn’t have to maintain the “Coach” hat, I said, “You have at least 7 choices.”

1. You can stay with your life as things are, and be miserable.

2. You can go for counseling.

3, She can go for counseling.

4. You could go for couples counseling.

5. She could have another affair and you could put up with it again.

6. You could have an affair.

7. You could both have affairs.

Personally, I thought options 2, 3 and 4 were the best. He chose option 1 and they remain locked in unhappiness, until her early death in a house fire. It was all so sad, and such a waste of two smart people.

There is usually always choice in most things in life, some things are outside of that: babies are born on their own schedule and generally we do not get to chose the time of our death. Other than that we have many opportunities to exercise choice.

And in shameless self promotion you could chose to hire me as your coach and expand your repertoire of choices.