Perfection – Unmasked
There is a tag line from one of the automakers that goes like this “The relentless pursuit of perfection”, which in automotive design and production is a pretty good idea. In life, not so much.
Perfection also known as perfectionism has been my constant companion for as long as I can remember. In fact, I have a very early childhood memory of practicing walking in my crib and thinking “I have to do this right”. I was less than 15 months old at that point, so when I say perfectionism has been with me for a very long time, you can see why.
Perfectionism is sneaky. It lurks in your brain and revels itself in comments like:
“That’s not good enough”
“You can do better than that”
It also says things like:
“You’re not good enough”
“You don’t have the skill”
“People will laugh at you”
And my personal favourite: “You’re just not creative enough”.
These thoughts and many more of their type are a form of perfectionism. In fact, in my eyes, they are publicly acceptable reasons for non performance. We excuse ourselves and others because of the need to be perfect.
So, let’s unmask perfectionism and see what lives behind it: Fear. I know, that nasty four letter word that so often gets in the way of ourselves and stops us from moving forward. In many cultures it is not okay to be afraid – we can be laughed at or held up to scorn. So to say we are afraid to finish a project, show a poem or short story is to worry about being judged and or being ridiculed for our fear. Much less damaging to our egos to say “well you know, it isn’t quite perfect yet” and the listener will nod and move on to a new topic.
Admitting to fear can be one of the hardest things we do. Who wants to be judged as a coward? Not me, and I’ll bet not you. Especially we don’t want to hear something like “oh, get over it”.That is dismissive and feels bad.
Fear is powerful in its ability to paralyze performance and fog up the brain. Yet hiding behind perfectionism does not help move us forward. We know that. We know that “the relentless pursuit of perfection” really only applies to products not people. If we allow this thinking to permeate our lives we may end up at a full stop. Which is not to say that it is okay to pass of shoddy work, what we need is to do the best we can and understand that someone may have a differing opinion and that is their right.
It is perfectionism and my desire to move beyond it that put me into this #31daychallange. I don’t have a week to obsess over what I am writing. I have to write every day -even weekends. So, I know these posts won’t be perfect, but they will be as good as I can do. I am working on the fear of writing for others to view, instead of just writing in my journals. It is scary and at the same time it feels a bit liberating.
Where is perfectionism lurking in your life? What fear it it covering?