Social Media

Facebook,Twitter, LinkedIn – every where you turn someone is looking, writing on or referencing social media. Even our local newscast has a segment called “What”s trending now”.

So, given that this appears to be the wave of right now, how do we navigate the rapids and whirlpools that make up our on line presence? Oh, you weren’t aware of those  except perhaps in an abstract way when you think of cyber bullying of teens?

Well, let me count the obstacles I see. First, there is the aforementioned cyber bullying. It is not just teens who are subject to this anonymous and often vicious form of abuse. Stalking partners, fanatics who hate others because of their skin colour, gender, sexual orientation or religon; people who are incensed because whatever is being done does not meet their standards. Those are just a few of the ways the internet is used to prey upon and harass others. As is so often the case the anonymity feeds the abusers sense of power and i suspect pleasure at causing pain. If you are the brunt of this a quick visit to your local police should help. Reporting abuse to the website controllers is also an option. Fighting back is necessary or the abuse will continue.

The next obstacle is the lack of real communication. Studies have shown that 90+% of what we hear is actually what we see. Text and the various messenger methods do not provide the needed visual cues to let us know what the conversation is really about. Was the comment said in fun, was it sarcastic or was it in earnest? Hard to know and the little smiley faces and acronyms don’t cover it.

The last obstacle I am going to write about today is people who use on line sites to air their problems with you. You know, you open your page and someone is mad at you and telling the whole world their side of the story. Sometimes, you didn’t even know there was a side to be taken. Now, you have a choice. Respond and know that however you respond you will come across as defensive or ignore it and hope those you know will respect your right of privacy. My suggestion, a simple statement along the lines of “I understand you are angry with me. Please call so we can settle this privately. I will not be responding to this  comment or any further comments you make. If it continues, ‘unfriend them’. In these situations, which are another form of bullying it is always best to take the high road. You will come across as mature and appropriate – they will come across badly. If a potential employer is looking at your website it will give them a sense that you know how to conduct yourself. And that can only be good.