Success Stories or Not

For many of us it is common to talk to ourselves about what is going on in our world. From thoughts such as ” did I remember” or “I need to..” there often seems to be a constant background hum going on.

I have noticed that for most successful people the comments and the stories that come out of them are positive. “Wow, I did a good job on that” “Next time I can do better by…” So even when they are thinking of ways to improve what they have done, they do it from a positive perspective.

For other people the comments and stories are not as useful: “Boy, I messed that up…”  often being the kindest thought they have about themselves. They anticipate that any conversation with a boss, spouse or friend will inevitably be negative. That the boss could   want to talk to them only to reprimand, that the spouse is going to be mad about something or the friend has taken offence to something they did.

The next step after those initial mental remarks is to construct a story about them. So, if it is the boss wanting to talk with them the story becomes: “I knew it, he/she is never satisfied, what are they going to complain about now?” By the time they get to the boss’s office they have a whole line of defence to trot out. That the meeting could be a compliment or an offer of a promotion simply does not occur to them. Indeed that very negativity may be what will prevent the promotion. Really, who wants to work with negative people anyway?

You have a choice about the stories you tell yourself. Are the ones you are currently thinking serving you well? Or are they contributing to putting you into a stuck place where you feel that nothing will ever go right?

If you don’t like the negative whirl, the next time it starts ask yourself:”How does thinking this contribute to my positive future?” If you only get a bunch of excuses you will know, it is time to change that thought.