Yes or No

I read a post by Seth Godin last week on the importance of saying Yes. Yes to opportunities and change. It’s hard to disagree with that.Yet saying No can be empowering and freeing, so let’s talk about that.

It’s half an hour before the end of the day and a colleague wants you to complete their project because they have an important date that evening. Yes or No? Yes, if you do this reciprocally. No, if it is an ongoing pattern, especially No if in the morning when the work is done they take all the credit.

You get home from work after a hard day and get a call asking you to babysit your sister’s kids. You love those kids and you are exhausted. Yes or No? Yes, if it is a family emergency, No, if this is an ongoing situation where the call is always at the last minute.

By now, you are getting the picture. Say yes if you really want to, otherwise a polite no. And you do not owe an explanation for your choices. Saying No can bring out the aggressive demands from others. Just hold your line, “No,that will not work for me”. And you don’t have to say you are sorry: that just gives them another lever to create guilt, and pressure you into doing what you don’t want to do.

Remember, it really is about you in these situations. Your choice, your life, your time.